What a week I’m having over here in New Mexico! In a little over 12 hours, I got a new job and a new home. I attracted an incredible professional opportunity paying more than I even asked for. It might sound self-aggrandizing, but I truly believe this is the direct result of the womanifestation mindset I have been cultivating.
I like to call it womanifestation, because I work with so many women who are tapping into that creative sacral chakra potential that both comes naturally to us and is systematically kept dormant within us. Internalized patriarchy is real, and is a direct result of an imbalanced system set up to oppress and control women.
But there is hope – we can unlock our innate ability to draw forth resources, power, support, and pleasure!
In case you missed the Law of Attraction, The Secret, or don’t know what the heck manifestation work is – it is the practice of visualizing what you want and imagining you already have it, in order to directly draw it towards yourself.
Many teachers teach folks how to tune up their energetic “frequency” in order to be more in the flow of what we want. A Course in Miracles states, “Miracles occur naturally, and when they’re not occurring something has gone wrong.” This means our responsibility is to stay attuned to what we want and to be responsible recipients.
Can you remember a time in your life that you wanted something specific, spent time imagining it, and then actually got it?
I remember daydreaming during work-study in college one day. I actively imagined (in great detail) meeting the man of my dreams during my upcoming semester abroad in Ireland, falling in love, moving to New York City, and ultimately marrying him. AND THEN IT ALL HAPPENED! That’s when I really started to believe in the power of womanifestation. As they say, “Energy goes where your attention flows.”
But before we dive into the practices that will help you cultivate a womanifestation mindset, let’s talk about what manifestation is not:
- Womanifestation is not a gumball machine you put a quarter in, sit back, and receive a shiny blessing from. You still have to do the work! Being in this state of mind will only help the blessings along – it doesn’t excuse you from pounding the pavement, actively seeking their realization.
- Womanifestation is not a forced state of happiness that punishes you if you slip into a scarcity mindset or fearful thinking. The last thing we need when we’re feeling like blessings are scarce is to heap guilt on top of it. This is not an excuse to force a sense of, “Everything is okay,” when it’s not. You still need to honor and hold space for negative emotions as they arise.
- This is not a form of escape. Learn to strike a balance between grounding presence with womanifestating visions of the future. If you spend your days lost in daydreams of the perfect future, you’re bound to develop an “if only” mindset. After a day’s hard work of womanifesting, you’re going to find it even easier to be present. Presence is a practice of gratitude, as if you’re saying to the Universe: “Thank you for what you have already blessed me with. I am aware of the support around me.” The miracles in our life want to be acknowledged. When they are, they will expand and multiply!
Now let’s dive into 5 practices to help you cultivate a Womanifestation Mindset:
1. Train your awareness.
Womanifestation involves powerful visualization, deprogramming limiting beliefs, preparing to receive, and being a responsible and grateful recipient. It all starts with an awareness of your thoughts, beliefs, stories and paradigms. Become aware of any existing belief blocks to womanifestation – for example, “Things will always be this way. I will never change. This is impossible.”
If you’ve ever taken a yoga class where the teacher invites you to set your intention for the practice, perhaps you’ve witnessed the power of conscious awareness. Intention is questioning what you hope to get out of an experience, and checking in with it to course-correct as necessary. It’s really about awareness. Because, whether we’re conscious of it or not, we are positioning ourselves to benefit, grow, and progress.
Meditation is the training of your awareness. Make it a daily habit, and watch your ability to tune inward grow.
2. Embody your inherent worthiness.
You have to believe that you deserve these blessings in order to become a magnet for them! Much easier said than done, huh? For many of my clients, this is the biggest unconscious block to womanifestation. We have internalized the patriarchy (men do this too!) and the idea that we don’t really deserve to get what we want. We believe, deep down, that we are inherently bad, selfish, and incapable of handling success.
I am always shocked when another high-powered women leader I’m working with struggles with imposter syndrome. Amanda Palmer describes this as the fear that the “Fraud Police” are going to knock on your door and tell you, “We know you’re not who you have been out masquerading as. You really have no idea what you’re doing, no credentials, and no right to be enjoying this level of success. It’s all over. We got you!”
The good news is – if you’re experiencing imposter syndrome – it’s a good sign you’re on the right track. The key is to make the U-turn away from the fear-spiral and towards worthiness.
Q: So how do we cultivate worthiness?
A: Self-compassion maintained by self-care. Period.
This can look like a mantra you repeat over and over and post-it note wallpaper your house in, such as “I am enough. I deserve joy. I am worthy of pleasure. I am responsible. I am beautiful. I am a child of God.” Whatever floats your special little boat!
It can also look like placing a hand on your heart when the Inner Critic voice arrives, and saying, “This is really hard right now. I love you and I’m here.”
It can look like journaling in one color to represent the fraud police and another to represent your higher self responding to them. Add new colors for different parts as they arise.
Get creative and courageous in your embodiment of worthiness. Repeat it over and over until it’s second nature. Talk to other people about their feelings of unworthiness and extend compassion toward them. Let them witness you and receive their support. Remember, this is universal! And it’s a life-long journey.
3. Get specific.
Now that you’ve trained your awareness and started to embody worthiness, you’ve laid the groundwork for womanifesting the life of your dreams! It’s time to get really clear on what you WANT.
Like registering for your wedding, indicate the size and color of your dreams. Make your mantra, “What do I want?” with no shame or feelings of selfishness attached. The Universe responds to specificity. The more clear you are with yourself on what you desire, the more quickly and efficiently you will draw it in.
Have you heard the prayer of Jabez? I learned this in Sunday school. Jabez was a guy that prayed to God to bless him immensely. He was specific in his request, and God gave it to him. As a child, it blew my mind that I could not only ask God to elevate my life and give me the desires of my heart, but I could be specific without being selfish. I used to think, if God is all-powerful, I shouldn’t have to spell it all out. But now I see it more as co-creating my life in every moment with Divine support.
And, if you don’t jive with the idea of a Divine presence or The Universe raining down blessings on you, consider this: Getting specific on what you want to womanifest will train your brain to direct all of your energy to getting it, thereby exponentially increasing your chances and speed of getting it. When we visualize what we want, we’re literally creating new thought patterns in our brains. If that’s not some womanifestation magic, I don’t know what is!
So next time you are stuck in your windowless cubicle, wishing for a career change, remember to get specific. What will the new job provide? What view will you have out your window? How will you decorate your office? What types of people will you work with? How will you dress for the job? What work will you do? What will a day in the life look like? How will you feel walking into work every morning? Leaving the office every night? Where will your sense of pride, accomplishment, success come from?
Please don’t leave it at, “I want a new job.” Get uber detailed with it, and see what happens!
4. Prioritize pleasure & destigmatize desire.
Women are socially shamed for their pleasure and potential. In so many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, we are taught that these things are reserved for men, we should just keep our hearts and minds closed to what we want (not to mention our legs).
In order to get specific on that which you will womanifest, you must not skip this step! Start asking yourself, “What brings me pleasure? How do I access pleasure? What blocks me from receiving pleasure? What do I truly desire? What about my desire is worthy or pure? How do my desires align with my highest potential in this life?”
These questions can clear blocks to pleasure and remove the stigma that surrounds it. They will train your brain to get curious about what uniquely pleases you, see it as good, and draw it towards you.
A friend told me recently she struggled to do what she truly wanted – to incorporate dance into her morning routine – because she thought it was too self-indulgent. I told her to self indulge! What is the harm? The real harm is in denying ourselves something we divinely desire, sealing the coffin of our own future regret. If we deny what we want, we will only try to fill the void with unhealthy alternatives unconsciously.
What is the most luxurious thing you can imagine doing for yourself? For me, it looks like eating a rich meal, taking an extravagant bath with essential oils, planning a dream vacation. Even just imagining it should make your mouth water! This is a mental exercise in pushing the boundary between what you believe to be possible and impossible, okay and not okay, the boundary between self-indulgence and self-care.
Let this become a mindset in and of itself for as long as you live. It’s okay to be propelled by pleasure and desire. When we embody self-love, this arises naturally. We realize we don’t have to deny ourselves joy in order to fulfill our purpose of helping others. People are drawn to people who prioritize fun – they are more likely to support your cause with their money, time and resources once you embody this. The world needs us at our best – so self-care like it!
5. Reframe your fear & keep going.
Fear is inevitable on your womanifestation journey. You will either feel afraid as you prepare to womanifest, when you are imagining what you want, when you are asking for what you want, and/or as you are getting what you want!
Fear is a natural part of our evolution, and we are deeply concerned with what we believe society will either reward or punish. We are routinely shown that pleasure and desire are punishable offenses due to their self-indulgent nature. We all have an evolutionary fear of being isolated and separated from other humans (which translates in our minds to being isolated from nourishment, support, and life itself).
Marie Forleo says, “Fear is just excitement pumping the breaks.” Sometimes fear has a valid reason. But usually, we can quiet it with a little self-compassion. Try saying to it, “Hey there, fear. Thank you for trying to protect me. I understand your concern – you want me to survive and belong. I honor you, I witness you. But I’ll take it from here.”
The same can be said for guilt. Have you ever asked for something, gotten it, and then felt guilty for getting it? Almost like you need to apologize for your success, or minimize your good fortune so as to not offend others?
This too comes from a fear of being separate – being on display, put on a pedestal where we can easily slip and fall from glory. After all, Icarus was punished for flying too close to the sun – just look at all the ways we’re warned against aspiration! We have a millenia’s worth of unlearning and mental decolonization to do, and we must support it with gentle understanding and self-care.
When you notice a block, jump over it. Stagger forward anyway. You’re allowed to make mistakes, you’re allowed to be on the journey. You’re going to have fears and guilt around getting what you want. As Maya Angelou said, “Ask for what you want, and be prepared to get it.” The preparation is often the hardest part! Be easy with yourself, but don’t give up!
Dear Ones, I’d love to hear from you! What is the biggest thing you’ve womanifested? What mental roadblocks are you hitting on your journey? What self-care practices or mantras have helped you embody your inherent worthiness? Tell me in the comments below!
Be well & take gentle self-care,